4/17/2011

lovefool

I love my friends. Straight up.

Today was another one of those reminders of how blessed I am to have such great people in my life. From spending the morning and afternoon with my girl downtown and volunteering, nothing seemed like a job when you were in the right company. Afterwards, meeting up with one of favorite people in the world... it was non-stop laughs from there. And afterwards pairing us with our other best friends?! Recipe for absolute mayhem. Squealing, hugs, going into a bird cage, girl lurking behind us, "FLO0O0OZY!!" Never a dull moment and couldn't ask for anything more... Straight up. I love my friends :')

And then... a slap to the face. It hurts.

Yes, I admit my mistakes are chronic and hurt other people (I'm human!!!) but what is so hard to explain is how much harder I am on myself after the fact. I suck up my pride. I suck up my personal values. I suck up the fighting spirit that they taught me because all I do is hurt one way or another so I might as well please someone.

But whatever happens, I always... Love. It might be a blessing, but it's definitely part curse. Because no matter what someone does to me, says to me or happens to me.... I will always love. Whether or not it is returned, I will love. I will love my friends, even when they don't want to be mine. I will love my parents, even when it feels like I can't. I will love all the ones who hurt me, even when they were the ones who were never supposed to in the first place. Call me a lovefool, call me crazy, but I will always love.

Whether or not, I (or others) love me? Well... that's a different question.

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