change of plans

As much as this sucks to admit, I've been having some doubts lately. Mind you, they aren't huge but with everyone starting to receive acceptances and scholarship money to programs across the country, I can't help but be... jealous. Yes, when it comes to this, the green-eyed monster in me sort've... makes an appearance to put it nicely. People I know not only have acceptances to the some of the best schools in Canada but SCHOLARSHIPS. And not only that, they are at schools that I could only dream of going to. (If you didn't know, my dream school is Queen's for their Int'l Affairs program but with it being across the country, it was simply out of the question for my parents.) So here I sit, applied to the schools here, WISHING and PRAYING I get into those at the minimum. I've accepted that and not entirely dismayed by this fact. Yeah, so many naive people will continue to say that UBC is overrated and UVic is a party school but outside of those reps, they are really good schools. Think about it. People from across the country want to go to UBC, a prestigious westcoast school and we're doing the same thing but going to Toronto.

Having yet to hear from all the schools I've applied to, my doubts are more directed to my tentative educational choices.

Here were the options I had laid out for myself (in no particular order):

1. UBC
   The second I saw the Degree for the Science of Global Resource Systems, I was in love. It had the humanitarian/social work on a university course level that I was just looking for and the cool 2-year focus on an area and resource of choice; how neat was that! Everyone I mentioned this to, said it sounded just like me which was an added bonus. The catch is, that it starts in your 3rd year and gave the freedom for you to pretty much do whatever for your first 2 years (be in Arts, Sciences or Land and Food Systems, etc). With that openness, I figured I had 2 years to figure out if I wanted to apply for GSR or International Affairs (another plausible option). So, I applied to Faculty of Arts as a first choice and Land and Food Systems as a second.
   
   
2. UVic
   Somewhere along the way, I was introduced to the broad opportunities that a Ba or BSc in Geography would bring. If you haven't picked it up already, I want to get into humanitarian work - with a life long goal of creating my own NGO (non-governmental organization). With no set education path for such a career, my options were wide open and figured Geography would be a best fit. So, I applied to the Social Sciences dept. at UVic and was accepted!
   
   
3. Capilano
   Countless people (people in the program at, graduates and others) have recommended me to Capilano's 2-year Global Stewardship Certification program. With a small class size, the competition is tough (I think they take about 30 a year?). At one point, I thought THIS is the program for me. Course-wise and purpose-wise, it was exactly the education I was looking for in the proper field I was going after. The added bonus that it's 1. cheaper 2. provides a much more specific/effective use of my 2 years when 3. transfer to a big university afterwards. So, I have yet to write my letter of intent and complete my application for the program. Due on April 15, I think (oops :$).
   
   
4. SFU
   With no intent of going there and to simply please my parents, I applied for the Arts Faculty and Environmental Faculty.
   

As you can see, with my desired career choice, the road to it is unwritten. There is no specific program or certain educational background you need to get into it... you just... do. But it's that very ambiguity that my parents have yet to understand what I want to do. It's hard because when they ask, I cannot give a solid answer to their question: "What job does that get you?" At the end of the 4 years, I don't have a title like a Doctor does, a Nurse, or an Engineer. Before, I used to just brush all of that off and walk as tall as I could and back my choices up 100%. But now that all of this is starting to become real decisions, I can't help but second-guess myself. Yes, I still want to fulfill this dream but is this really the educational path I want to take?

So I self-reflected. I looked at myself and wondered, why wasn't I like everyone else who had set jobs that they wanted to do? I have friends who want to become engineers, doctors, lawyers, nurses, accountants and dentists. My cousin's becoming a goddamn aerospace engineer for crying out loud!!!!!!! And here I sit, saying, "I want to make a difference." I began to realize that... as much as I didn't want to subject to my parent's words for the sake of doing my own thing, I couldn't help but agree that I too wanted a solid job at the end of my education. Sure, I would still love to create an NGO and work on it full-time but I figure, if the passion was strong enough for me to dedicate my life to it, it certainly will be there throughout whatever choice I make in post-secondary.

That said, I explored my options. Originally, I said hell-no to school past 4 years. I wanted to finish a degree than get outta there. But lately, it doesn't seem so bad. So I started thinking LAW SCHOOL. I figured, YEAH! It's perfect because if I did end up going into GSR or IR, I could become a lawyer in that field. Putting the change I wanted to see in legal action: an environmental lawyer or international law! I figured great! But I kept reading up on it and I don't know, for some reason... it didn't quite stick.

So I moved on, which brings me to...today. I have always been interested in architecture. I find it fascinating. Although it wasn't pursued in high school through drafting courses and such... I have always been interested in the art of it. Naturally, I was discouraged to even consider it with the thought that there were actual people I knew who did take drafting courses and publicly sparked an interest in it early on. I was discouraged by the competition and figured, it might not be for me. But now that I think about it, every time I question what I want to do... I always mention becoming an architect as some hidden dream but would always half-ass the comment and laugh it off... But today... I didn't. I started thinking, what is the schooling that's actually required? Turns out there's a Master's program at UBC and the degree you can get beforehand can theoretically be anything you want. So, I started reading up on it. The best degrees to get into the program are engineering (no chance), a bachelors in arts with a major in architecture and environmental design. The last 2, I could actually do! For one, I've already applied to the Faculty of Arts and could easily just direct my studies to the Architecture and Design field or wouldn't mind getting in the Environmental Design program!

All in all, I think I may have made a change of heart. I really like the idea and better yet, so do my parents. They love it to be frank. My dad says being an architect is a great job and I already caught my mom saying, "My daughter, the Architect!"

I guess, I'm a little nervous because this is exactly what my best friend predicted I'd do. He said he saw me jumping from career-to-career until I found the right one. I'm nervous because I'm not sure yet if this is just one of those crazy ideas that I come up with, another option to list up top or something I'll actually stick by. Heck, I haven't even accepted to the other schools.

But I'm not going to lie that I'm excited. I'm excited to see if I stick by this. I'm excited to figure out in the next couple of years what it is that I exactly want to do for the rest of my life.

Here's to ambiguity.
Here's to Camille....the Architect?




PS, if anyone actually reads this, feel free to leave a comment of what you think of any of the options I'm looking at. I'm always interested to hear what other people think of the unconventional paths I've presented myself.